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Xavier


Xavier

An empty womb by choice
you grew so quickly
not under my heart
but in it

Born before time ended
a cry
a laugh
a breath
were never to pass through your lips

I could not even hold you well
for science's hopes flowed into you
your body so tender
that even my caring had consequences

The river in you was damaged
flooding above
backing up within
yet still needing more

Lullabies and love songs I sang
and talked to you of forests and oceans
and one who came before you

Your soul was trapped within a drowning mind
but I was able to hold you in my arms at last
once
before you heeded the call of our ancestor
and took your leave

Now I am filled with the unknowable
which I must learn to allow to fade
I must learn the day to day again
while cradling the memory of you
my almost
son

November 13, 2002
Tressa Lee Breen

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